Women's Circles: What Are They & How Can I Join One?

Amid a year of chaos and uncertainty, like many women, I’ve been looking for connection and community. Despite strong friendships, I’ve felt lonely. I work at home alone and live with my husband and two small children. I’ve missed the magic of being with other women. 

So when Issy Shelton, a holistic therapist and founder of Lemon and Ginger Wellbeing hosted a women’s circle, I decided to go. I was intrigued – I’m a slightly sceptical spiritualist and while I’m open to trying most things, I like my wellness rooted in reality. A gathering with likeminded women and a cup of tea sounded like, well, my cup of tea. 

Under a full moon, I arrived at a beautiful yurt in the Oxfordshire countryside for the circle. Slightly apprehensive, I was soon reassured by the welcoming faces of 11 other women. And I’m so glad I went – I discovered women’s circles are unique and powerful, and that the act of gathering with other women is a revolutionary act of sisterhood in a society that likes to keep us busy and apart. 

What is a women’s circle?

The relatively simple practice of women coming together to sit and share is nothing new – circles have been taking place for thousands of years. At their simplest, women’s circles are where women sit together in a circle around a central alter (which can be anything from a candle to an intricate crystal grid). There are opportunities to talk and listen, and usually you hold something like a crystal or stick when it’s your turn to speak.

Importantly, other women don’t offer advice or pass judgement. It’s not therapy, but a safe space to hear and be heard. The point isn’t to problem solve and that can be a relief, especially if you are prone to overthinking about the right thing to say. 

There’s no set way for women’s circles to run and the rituals of each are different. Some incorporate movement, songs, craft, food, moon phases or pulling tarot cards. Women’s circles can be whatever you want them to be. A chance to tap into your inner feminine goddess if you want, or simply a place to sit down with other women and find sisterhood.

Women’s circles date back to pre-historic times, when women would gather to prepare food and share stories. However, the feminine tradition of the circle was disrupted as society developed and became more linear. Recently though, women’s circles have been having a resurgence, popping up in living rooms, yoga studios, yurts and festivals around the world. Instagram boosts 160,000 #womenscircle posts. Jennifer Aniston is said to be a fan. 

We’re hardwired for connection so after lockdowns and social distancing it’s no surprise we’re searching for community. “I felt a real craving for sisterhood during the pandemic,” said Issy when we spoke following the circle. “There is no space in women’s lives for community which is why we need these structured places to find it.”

There are a growing number of women like Issy hosting circles. Gemma Brady, founder of Sister Stories has been training women to host circles for three years and has seen a rise in interest recently, training over 150 women in the last year. Gemma said likely factors in the rising popularity are “a craving for connection and community, an environment to explore our rich inner world without judgement, and primal desire for ritualised spaces to gather.”

It should be easy to get together with other women but in a modern world where we are trying to have it all, it’s hard. Women’s relationships are not prioritised and women forming groups without men are often written off as silly, witchy or unnecessary. But that does a huge disservice to the power they hold. 

For a new generation of women, interested in secular wellness with a dash of spirituality, circles fit a sweet spot. According to one of few pieces of academic research on circles, Women's Circles and the Rise of the New Feminine, they “are indicative of women’s heightened participation in the realm of subjective wellbeing culture, including both elements of spirituality and more secular ‘personal growth’.”

What it's like joining a women's circle?

I found a circle to be both empowering and nourishing. Circles are trusted and respectful spaces – you know that no one will repeat or share anything you’ve said. They offer a chance to be honest with yourself and give you a peek behind the curated lives of others. It’s cathartic and helpful realising many problems are universal and that we’re not alone.

There are cycles in everything – nature, the moon, our bodies and circles help us understand and honour those rhythms.

There is nothing to do at a women’s circle other than be present. It’s quite a relief to just ‘be’ rather than ‘do’ constantly. “Cyclical living means honouring the rest as well as the work,” Issy told me. “We need rest, but people don’t see that bit as exciting. There are cycles in everything – nature, the moon, our bodies and circles help us understand and honour those rhythms.” 

I had goosebumps when Issy talked about the energy all of us were bringing to the circle. Issy described it as ‘radical collective care’ meaning everyone has their part to play, supporting each other. “There is such strength in sisterhood,” she said. “You’re on the same page as everyone else there. It can be quite addictive because you are surrounded by women that want the same things as you.”

Wherever you are on the sceptical to spiritual scale, you’ll get something from a women’s circle. They are healing and nurturing. You are making time for yourself which itself can be a radical act of self-care and there is something powerful in women gathering, sharing and honouring themselves and other women. And that might be the magic you’re looking for. 

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